Dear family and friends. It has been a couple of months or so since I last made an entry here. I hope you understand that I try not to write anything until I feel a prompting to do so. More importantly, I hope and pray that I follow those promptings correctly and try to deliver the medium for the Lord to put the message that he has for you personally in your heart.
When I last wrote here in late January I had been in the process of a number of medical tests for what I thought was just getting older, but experiencing shortness of breath at times and some fatigue. In my last couple years at work, I could push a cart of chairs or tables and I would get winded and a little fatigued.It wasn't very noticeable but I guess enough the Doctors started ordering test after test after test.
I need to place below, the pictures from my last post, so please bear with me. The quality could be better, I'm trying to learn how to do these things better.
It was just a few days after I posted the last entry that I started to learn some definite (or so I thought) answers about my condition. They diagnosed that I had a condition called CTEPH also known as Chronic Thromboendartic Pulmonary Hypertension. A condition that requires open heart surgery to fix it. This would mean an 8-12 hour surgery, stopping my heart and cooling me down maybe several times until the blockages to my lungs were removed. Nonetheless quite a thought..
Now, the good Lord with his sense of humor put the thought into my mind the following: At least I hope it was His sense of humor and not just mine. But, I do find it humorous.
He was going to have to have the Dr. open me up, expose my heart, and give him a meat-tenderizing mallet to soften me up. I guess my heart is too hard and needs the extra help.!!
I do hope the above is not offensive to anyone, but that brought so much peace to my soul.
Now, about a week ago after having met with the Heart Surgeon they wanted to do another test. This test showed a totally different diagnosis (I thought that I had already had all the tests there were?. The results of this test they tell me show that to have opened me up they would not have found the clots. So another test was ordered to confirm this latest. And I do believe there is still one or 2 more needed to get a definite diagnosis.
I do have clots in my lungs, they feel it was caused by the effects of 2 heart ablations that I have had in the past to treat AFIB. So I wait, yet some more and once again climb aboard the rollercoaster ride until there is a final determination.
But, this process has brought a definite continuous softening of my too-hard of heart. I have felt the effects of the prayers of many on my behalf. The genuine concern from family, friends, acquaintances, ward and stake members, with pleas of offers to help myself and my wife. I am so appreciative of all of this. And yes, Shortly you will be able to still assist, as I will yet undergo some type of surgery for a still very rare form of these clots.
This is a medley of songs last about 45 minutes (play when you have time to listen)
I have been pleading with the Lord, to soften my heart. To help me take on the Character of Christ. To put the needs of others before any of mine. To not worry about the condition of my clots and how to take care of them. But, to trust that He will guide the medical professionals to make the right decisions and when they do perform, surgery they will be assisted by angels. And even though the recovery might be difficult I know in my hopefully softening heart that He will be close by and that he is in control.
I have told my dear wife, that with the open heart surgery, I was confident that I would survive and recover, if not, that's ok it is the Lord's decision for me and each of us, when we will leave this earth life.
With all of my heart, I vigorously invite each of you to watch, listen, or read from the general conference. We do have a prophet who the Lord has given us to give us guidance in these troubled times. The coming of our Savior Jesus Christ is very near. Ask for your spiritual eyes and ears to be opened. Ask for your heart to be soft as a pillow that you might absorb all the spirit has for you personally to hear and feel.
Jesus is the Christ!!! The son of the Living God!!!. He is our Savior, our Redeemer, and our elder brother. He loves you and me so much, he suffered for every little and big wrong that I have done in my life. I tremble to try to contemplate the pains he had to bear because of me and my hard heart.
And, although the tempest is raging more and more as we move into the period prior to the Lords coming. I witness to you that He is coming to return to this earth in power and glory. We might not know the day or the hour but, he has given us many signs to give us the season. As our dear prophet Pres. Russel M. Nelson has told us, we must gain that personal relationship with him to survive the test that we are facing in the near future. (of course that is not a quote of his words but my interpretation with my memory)
Debbie and I love each of you. We pray for you, we regularly list your names in the temples for many of you. God be with each of you. May you have peace, love, joy, happiness, health, and great relations with family friends, and even enemies.
If need be try to mend any hurts that might be plaguing you. Demonstrate your love like the savior does, no matter what has happened in the past. Plead for the ability to forgive as the Savior forgives. although it is difficult to learn from the past let it go. All it does is keep you in a state of hurt. Look to the future for the wonderful blessings that await. But, live in the present. Take each day to try to improve your relationship with all, especially with your Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
We bear witness to this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.